Resident Evil: Reunion
by Hina-86
Summary: The RE charachters are having a reunion. How bad could this be? XD I'm in need for R&R. I need you ppl! rated for langauge and maybe something else in the future? XD
1. Chapter 1

AHH!! OMG I'm so sorry people, I've deleted the story by mistake... Thanks for **AdaWongTN** and **Bios13** for commenting. (I'm sorry for deleting your reviews, guys. T____T)

Any way, Happy New Year and again, sorry..

(I own nothing. T-T Resident Evil is not mine)

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"I have a bad feeling about this..."

"Oh come on, don't be such a wuss,"

"Yeah, we're only here for your help, pal."

Wesker glared at him from behind his sunglasses. "Krauser, don't you pal me again or else your gonna lose that beret on your head... and what's underneath it."

Krauser only gave him a stupid look before sorting back through the brochure the salesman gave them.

Wesker sighed. He sat on a nearby chair while his cracked up assistants chose what better eye contact-lenses color would possibly suit him.

"I say blue," Ada said with full confidence, "It's his natural eye-color after all,"

"Thanks for bringing me the horrendous memory of dying back." Wesker mumbled under his breath. The asian woman heard him anyway and smiled. "You're welcome."

"No way! Green has a nicer appearance,"

"How could you say that? He's blonde, and blondes only look pretty with blue eyes."

"You mean like mine?" Krauser bat his eyelashes repeatedly and gave her a slutty smile.

The asian woman stared in horror then rushed outside the store and began vomiting.

Wesker shook his head at his freak subordinates and wondered if he can argue with the president again about the stupid RE-reunion thing, he is a busy man and has no time for crap like that.

But of course that didn't work out so well last time he tried to excuse himself from attending it, nor the Tyrant he decided to unleash upon the degenerated agent Kennedy. He winced at the remind of his hurting midsection.

"Damn, I'm still thinking green would look prettier!" Wesker sighed.

The store's owner came in back with Ada after making sure she was alright and smiled at them. "Okay, so have you decided yet?"

Krauser looked up at the man, who gulped at the scary face he had due to the scars, and shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno.. I'm at loss here."

"I said blue!" Krauser glared at the now healthy woman.

"Green!!"

"Blue, you infected freak!"

"Green, red dresses obsessed bitch!"

"BLUE!"

"GREEN!!"

"BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE AND BLUE!"

"GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN!!"

"SHUUUUTTTTTT UUUUPPPPP!!"

Several dogs and doves fell outcold outside the store. Little children cried in fear. An old lady just fell to the ground and clutched her at heart as she endured a massive heart-attack.

Krauser and Ada blinked at the red faced man. Wesker would have been blinking too if he weren't wearing black shades and examining the damages the man had caused around them.

"Ok ok, no need to be all angry about it, man," Krauser snorted.

"Sorry," The owner of the Optical store cleared his throat and smiled up at them again, "So, how can I help you? Who are they for, anyway?" he looked between Ada and Krauser.

Krauser simply jerked his thumb backwards. "Him."

He smiled and looked behind him, only to pale at the look on the man in blacks face.

Wesker pushed his way between his assistants and looked at the collection of many colored lenses. "Finally, someone thinks my opinion is needed. Lets see what do we have here,"

Krauser nudged him, "Boss, pick the green ones. They'll look pretty on you."

"I'm NOT a girl, you idiot." The blonde man growled and punched him in the face. Ada snickered at the amount of pain the 'fat' man was in.

"Alright, sir can you please remove the shades so you can try them and see for yourself,"

Wesker didn't listen to the man and continued reading the information on the back of one container.

Ada rolled her eyes and snatched the sunglasses off his face. Caught off guard, Wesker blinked like an idiot at the sudden change of light in the room. *Wow, I can actually see better,*

The salesman gasped at the sight of his eyes. "OH MY GOD!"

Wesker gave the man a look that promised painful death. The man gulped and stared away. "Uhm... here," Wesker stared at the man's choice, "These are the best type we have, last for a year if daily used and t-"

"Why last for just a year if they're the best?" Ada cut him off as she took them away from the man's hold, "And they're dark blue, I want-"

Wesker snatched them from her hand and looked thoughtful for a moment. "All the better for me," he mumbled and tore the container open. "How in hell do you use these?"

"Uh.. here, let me help you, sir,"

Wesker watched as the man took one of the lenses out with a *tweezers?!?* and put it on the tip of his gloved index finger.

"Now sir, you need to be careful and place it on your pupil, nice and gentle so you won't cause damage to your.. um, cornea?"

Wesker stared at the blue lens for a second then did what the man said.

"Oh my god!" Ada gasped in joy like a 16 years old teen girl and started jumping up and down, clapping her hands gleefully, "you look so cute! Put the other one too! Put the other one too!!"

Wesker ignored her but did what 'he' thought was better and put the other lens. "Well sir, what do you think?"

The blonde blinked few times, adjusting to the new feeling of having alien objects in his eyes then looked at his reflection in the mirror. "Not bad. How much?"

"Oh, these are the best collection you'll find in the market, they'll only cost you 230-" the man stopped immediately at the scary looks on the three people's faces, "I mean free, heh heh, they're on the house."

Wesker didn't bother taking the lenses off and just put his shades on before exiting the store, leaving Krauser and Ada to deal with the man for disrespecting his mighty being.

"So," Ada looked around the store, "on the house you say?"

The man only nodded his head and silently cried as he watched the two stuffing their bags with all the items in the store.


	2. Chapter 2

Chris sighed for the millionth time. Jill, Rebecca, Sheva and Claire were supposed to be ready three HOURS ago. He hated his luck when he lost the 'rock-paper-scissors' to Barry, and that meant it's him to chauffeur the ladies.

"This is ridicules.." he thought as his reflection on the fridge's door showed dark stubble of growing beard. *I just shaved 15 minutes ago..* he thought and took frozen lasagna out off the fridge. "Why does it take women so long to get dressed up and ready to a stupid party that is held by the president?!" he muttered aloud, "I mean, we've got the invitation this morning! That's hell of a lot time to get ready for it.." Chris sighed again and was about to put the frozen food into the microwave when suddenly, the box disappeared from his hands. "What the hell?!" he blinked at his empty hands.

"You're going to eat later, don't get a fulled stomache right now."

Chris spun around to make sure he isn't hearing ghosts. "Jill?" *Not my imagination* "Please tell me we're ready to go now?" he begged on his knees.

Jill, clad in a knee-high, strapless lilack dress, rolled her eyes at this pathitic scene. "Come on, I'm ready, and Claire started the car for you,"

"THANK YOU GOD!!" Chris jumped to his feet and ran to the door, dragging the brunette woman along with him then suddenly halted, "Wait, Rebe-"

Jill cut him off knowing already his question, "They'll be down in any moment."

His life have never been happier than now. Chris pushed her out the door and ignoring her protests as her feet hurt from running in high heels, "Good, then let's go!" he opened the back-seat's door for her and pushed her inside then waited in the driver's seat. Finally, he spotted Sheva, wearing a long satin dark green dress and Rebecca in a red dress with black polka-dots exiting the house and climbed into the car with them.

Rebecca, who was sitting in the middle next to Jill, leaned forward to whisper into Claire's ear. "Claire, did you bring the purple nail-polish Ada called you earlier for?"

"Oh no! I totally forgot!" Claire gasped when she remembered that and the scene of an angry Asian woman in red almost snapping her neck into a strange position when she forgot to pick up her other red dress from the dry-cleaner. It took all the power in Chris, Leon, Krauser, Steve, Wesker, Sheva, Jill and Rebecca to pull them apart.

It was stated since then. Ada has Anger Management Issues, Claire has severe Brain Lapse.

"Man, you should write down your stuff in an electronic notebook." Rebecca giggled.

"Top drower to the left, right?" Sheva asked, opening the door and getting out, "I'll be back in a a sec-"

"Oh come on!" Chris cried out in desperation.

The four females glared at Chris now.

"Fine, just don't be such a baby!" Sheva shook her head before sitting back next to Rebecca. "God, Claire! You are cursed with an annoying brother!"

"I know." Claire snorted, something down her dress and not looking at Chris directly, but at his reflection on the window at her side.

"I hope Ada doesn't break our necks for this," Rebecca slumped back to her seat. Jill held her in a comforting hug. "Don't worry Becky,I'm sure we'll find a way to avoid her warth tonight. It's not like the White House doesn't have more than 1 room for us to hide in."

Chris banged his head on the steering wheel then rested his forehead there, but not too hard to turn the horn on. "I'll wait..." he groaned in defeat.

Sheva grinned and got out of the car.

15 minutes later, Chris was sleeping in the front seat. Rebecca has went back into the house to bring her purse, Claire saw a teeny tiny wrinkle at the outside of her eye and went back to refresh her makeup and Jill followed for S.O.S., leaving Chris to cry himself to sleep. Sheva hasn't returned yet from her search for the purple nail-polish.

"I think we better not wake him up." Rebecca pointed out. They were finally back to the car after they managed to secure the room Sheva was in. Claire was embarrassed at the fact that her not tidy room caused the poor woman to get lost and there for, had to speeddial her on her cell for help to get out. "It was a good thing she did not call 911,* she thought to herself, *Last thing I want for my room to be seen on the news and the 'David Litterman Show' makes fun of it.. Not to mention Leon..* True, Leon's room is much cleaner than the average men supposed to. Her brother's room was clean, but he always makes one final touch and leaves a shirt or a sock on the fan. No one know why she's so messy.

Jill nodded. "Yeah, he'll probably bitch at us for keeping him wait for like," she glanced at her expencively jeweled watch, "45 minuts? Man, this watch must be on crack.." She sighed and raised an eyebrow at the rest of the group, "But who's gonna drive then?"

They stared at Sheva as she opened the driver's door, picked up Chris with ease like carrying a baby in her arms, and put him in the back-seat in the middle.

"I'll drive!" Rebecca jumped to the now empty driver's seat. She felt a strong grip on the back of her neck. "Uh-uh, sweetie. I'm driving. You're high." Sheva smirked and pushed her back next to the sleeping man to keep him from falling down.

Rebecca pouted and crossed her arms on her chest. "Am not.." She glared at the Sheva's evil reflection in the rear mirror.

Jill giggled and ran to the passenger's seat. Claire sighed and sat next to her 'uncool' brother. She stuffed a Kleenex in his mouth to prevent his droll from reaching her and staining her dress.

"Okay, how do we start this thing?"

Jill's mouth hang open at her. Rebecca blinked and Claire shook her head with a heavy sigh.

"You mean you don't know how to drive? Why did you volunteered to drive then?!"

"They didn't teach us in army-school to drive this type of cars," she protested. She did have a point though, they only drive auto, not manual. "Besides, I'm left-handed, I can't use my right arm."

"You have a wrong arm?" Confusion, and probably stupidity, was heard in Rebecca's question. Sheva turned her head back and looked dumbfounded at the obviously high girl.

Jill rolled her eyes. "Get over her, I'll drive." They got out of the car and exchanged the seats.

"Do we have a map to the White house?" Jill asked as she started the car. Claire gasped, "I've forgot the map Leon drew me back over the kitchen's table!"

"Thank god then," Sheva murmured and got out of the car.

Rebecca giggled and Claire slapped her arm angrily. Jill just grinned, thinking that this time Sheva won't take long to find the object of her search, and inserted a music CD into the player.

3 minutes later, and they were on the road down to the White House. Chris stirred a little as the car jarred for a second but that was all and he went back to snorting. Claire sighed. She should have brought a duct tape with her.

"Die, you undead freaks!"

"Why did you bring the game-boy with you?"

"Cuz I wanna." The youngest female stuck her tongue out at Jill's mirrored reflection.

"Isn't that like racist? I mean, come on, we're girls here. Why isn't there a 'Game-Girl' instead for us?"

"You're right. Maybe we should suggest this to the president and he will tell the people who designs those playable things."

"Woohoo! Yeah, take that you blood suckers"

"What's she playing?"

Claire glanced over. "Silent Hell: Origins,"

"What?That's a horror game! How can she be that much of thrilled about it? I caused Barry a concussion for mentioning its horrible details for me" Jill shook her head.

Sheva was tapping her foot to the rhythm of the music and singing in a low tone. "Cuz she's high," she sang the words out.

"I'm NOT high!" Rebecca lashed out.

Claire snapped the lollipop that was in the medic's mouth out and put it in her own mouth. She waited for a second, slapping the protesting hands away, then nodded her head. "It's cocaine."

"No it's not!!" Rebecca throw herself at Claire and banged the woman's head against the window, choking her in the process. Claire closed her mouth tightly around the candy, clawing at the hands at her neck and trying to scream for help. Sheva just shrugged the case off.

"Is he alright?" Jill asked the African woman, eyeing the bloody scene and looked with amusement at the still sleeping figure.

"He should be. Think she'll be ok?"

"Claire faced worst." Although, Jill had a little bad feeling about Claire's color. "How did you know the lollipop was drugged?"

"Simple. Excella owns the TriCell drugs facility, that candy was on the coffee table at the Redfields, Chris had a secret meeting with that woman 2 weeks ago."

"Give it back!"

She was shocked by that info, she had not read about that in any file of the case's folder. "Wow..." Jill kept watching the fight in the back as Rebecca was now crushing the sleeping man with her weight as she reached for the lollipop and started pulling it out of Claire's mouth. "But TriCell doesn't work with illegal drugs, as far as I know,"

"Mmm!!"

"She's Italian. They all trade with illegal drugs."

"Give it back, damn it!"

"Well, maybe. But neither Chris nor Barry brought out that subject to me,"

The African woman rolled her eyes. "They're getting something in return, that's why they're keeping it all 'hush hush'." Jill eyed her strangely, but kept it there.

All the energy in Claire's body was building-up and finally when it reached the breaking point, she brought her left leg up and kicked Rebecca in the stomach with her 6" high-heel shoe. "Nevah!" she cried out like a wild woman.

Rebecca backed off, holding her midsection and crying in pain. "You're mean..."

Sheva whistled quite in amusement.

"Told ya." Jill chuckled, her eyes going back to the roads they're on. "It's amazing that he's still asleep, though." Sheva snickered at the oblivious to the world sleeping figure; then snatched the Game-Boy from the back seat and began playing as they drove away.

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AN: Ok before you slap me with info; yes, I know that:

1- Sheva didn't go to army school.

2- Silent Hill is the correct name. It's that I'm not putting brand names in my fics if I'm not getting paid XD

3- Italians do not trade with illegal drugs; that's the Mexicans job. XD kidding. Don't get angry.

Please review! I'm desperate for your thoughts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Leon felt at the edge of loosing his mind. Ashley was gossiping all around the place about him, Salazar kept tazing him every now and then, Luis is hanging from the chandelier (he got up there with the help of Saddler's tentacles) and doing the Tarzan scream. It didn't help even when Krauser threw him a piece of steak. Leon groaned in dismay. "Why do I have to put up with this?"

*Because you need money to byy that damn Sonny dreamcast, that's why poopie head.* A voice stated in his head.  
Leon frowned. *Hey, don't call me poopie head, jerk conscience!*

*You dare calling me a JERK! I made you this, you inconvenient should-have-stuck-with-the-doughnut-job butt face!*

*I'm not a butt face!!*

*Yeah, as long as it makes you happy. If it weren't for the plastic-surgery no one would ever look in your face,*

*....You don't have any proof, so HA!!*

*Ooooh, you think Wesker doesn't keep a copy of your ugly picture from your old R.P.D resume in his place??? I bet you he even made a before and after print and about to post it on the net.*

His eyes widen in horror. *SHUT UP!!* He slapped his forehead and the voices stopped talking, just like magic.

Leon looked for the blonde daughter of the president and saw that Ashley was happy. In fact, he had never seen her happier in her whole life like now, happier than time she bought the only available of three around the world D&G handbag, happier than the time she went to Miley Cyrus' concert, and even happier than that time when she was rescued from Spain. Glomping the icon of ultimate evilness, a.k.a 'Albert Wesker', seems to be the best thing happened to her ever.

*What's taking them so long?* Ada Wong was pacing around and trying to avoid possible contact with anyone approaching, she brushed a butler offering her champagne away. Somewhere in the ballroom, she saw Wesker struggling to get out of Ashley's tight bear-hug and an evil smirk spread on her lips. *Serve that idiot right for taking my bonus away.*

Krauser was in the other part of the room by the buffet standing alone, stuffing his face with 'free' food and scaring anyone might think of approaching. Not even Leon would dare coming any closer.

Ada took her cell out of her purple clutch-bag and pressed speeddial. "Hello?" "Claire!!" Ada growled in a warning tone to the woman on the line, "Where the hell-" "We're entering the main hall now, relax-GAH!" Claire shrieked and took refuge behind her super hero brother when the woman in chinese red dress stood in her sight. "Please don't hurt me!!" she whimpered.

She was not stupid. Chris may be an idiot who could not figure what 1+1 will equal, but he is officially on steroids and managed to tire Wesker in their last fight and she remebers him saying quote: "I'd rather have a bullet in the head than fight that bucket-head!"

Who knew Wesker could rhyme. Besides, he looked like some wrestler from that 'Gladiators' Krauser keeps watching. Ada smiled at her -and it's never was a nice thing- and opened her hand to her. "Where is it?"

Chris gave her his typical frown. "What are you talking about?"

"Where is the sample?" They all gave her suspicious looks. The Asian woman coughed and corrected herself. "I mean, my nail polish?"

Claire handed her the requested item, still behind the gorilla man. "At last." Ada removed the satin black gloves she was wearing and began painting her nails with her back to the crowd, humming a korean song to herself. Chris went to greet Leon, followed by Claire and Rebecca.

"Why doesn't she go to the ladies room?" Sheva whipsered to Jill, who shrugged and made a loony sign with her finger.

"Hey Chris!" Leon grinned at his best buddy.

"Yo, wussup!" Leon flew two feet away and landed on his face when the bigger man gave him a friendly slap on the back. Chris stared in bewilderment at the impact of his powers then turned his head to the source of the gasps and 'Oh dear!'s. The army of women were staring with horror on their faces at the blonde agent.

Claire placed her palms on her hips and glared hatefully at him. "Ok, what was that about?!" Chris blinked at he amount of anger in his sister's eyes.

"Chris, is that the way to greet someone who if you didn't want to consider friend, saved your sister's life?! Twice!" Jill glared at him too.

"Hey, I made it on my own in Raccoon City and that airport." Claire corrected her. Jill rolled her eyes, "What ever," she said and turned to send awful messages with her glares to the stunned brunette.

Chris stared dumbfound at the bickering women then looked at the agent sitting on the floor, wriggling his eyebrows and snickering.

Sheva pushed him out of her way. "That's it, I cant believe I worked with you, you're a shame on humanity." The African woman helped Leon to his feet and glared at Chris over her shoulder.

"Yeah. I believe you would do awful things, but doing something like that," Rebecca stopped and shook her head then brought a piece of candy out of her pocket and handed it to Leon who in return smiled kindly at the sweet gesture. "Thank you, honey,"

The girl giggled, Jill turned to the confused man and hissed at him, "Watch and learn how treat a woman!" and she left him alone and went to see if the blonde man was alright.

Chris was on the edge of a massive mental breakdown. His left eye twitched, his blood was ice. "What the hell is wrong with you people?!!" he cried out and left, feeling he was going to tear anyone would stand in his way in two pieces. The president took this very bad moment in time to appear in his way. "Chris! I'm glad you mad-" "Fuck off!" Chris shoved the president out of his way.

Mr. Graham blinked at this, then simply shrugged and went to bug some other RE character.

Jill shook her head. "Do you believe that guy?! Sheesh."

"He's jealous. Just look at him and look at this handsome."

Four sets of eyes turned to see the woman who had more money than the president himself. "Excella? What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, dummy? I'm invited to here." Excella didn't even bother looking at the African woman and simply walked to Leon, swaying her hips in the little red material that was supposed to be called a dress. Leon's eyes glued to the huge breasts in the V shaped low cut collar and he was drooling.

"That's not what I meant!" Sheva growled at the over confident woman, it was getting haredr to restrain from hitting her in the head. Luckily Rebecca held her by wrapping her arms around her.

"She means you're supposed to be in the evil zone," Rebecca smiled, pointing to the other side of the party where Wesker, Krauser, Saddler, Spencer, Ashley, that cute clown Ricardo and Ada could be spotted, "Right over there."

"Listen, doll-face, just because I'm satanism doesn't mean I should be with that psycho man." She huffed and placed her hand at her hip, the other one playing with a strand of her hair that was cascaded over her shoulders. "So, are you a natural blonde?" she smirked at Leon. The tribe of women glared at the way the Italian was talking to Leon, and the attitude he was giving her made them even more furious.

Ashley pushed them apart and faced the dark haired woman. "Who the hell are you?"

"You must be Mr. Graham's brat," Excella smirked at the flames she received from the blonde's eyes, "I could see the resemblance; stupidity runs in your family quit well." "Hey!" Ashley shouted, trying to reach forward to strangle the mischievous woman but found Leon in the way.

"Ladies, calm down," Leon waved his his hands, stopping the fight before it could get any worse, "There is enough of me for every one, ok?"

"OK!!" All the girls said in union, giggling. They glared at each other then for saying it in one time.

Leon tried to think of a way to get out of this problem.

A bulb of light appeared on top of his head. He smirked to himself.

Yes, this will do it.

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R&R PLEASE!!!

I'll say thank you, *chu chu for those reviewers*


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